Oh God – Part Ten
“Basically,” said God in a friendly manner, “one of the reasons I invited you into the family was over communication. It’s a very important function of humanity as you see here. I mean. How wonderful has it been to have you among us at our dinner table? We talked and joked and had a wonderful time, didn’t we?”
“I’ve got to admit, that’s true,” said Schwartz, still somewhat hesitant. “I feel totally at home an’ welcome here. I don’t even mind that old lady that keeps barkin’ at us if we cuss a little. Where’d you get her from anyways?”
“She’s kind of an accident like you are to Satan,” smiled God. “Its her ornery husband that keeps passin’ up an’ down between here an’ there ‘cause nobody wants him around to make trouble. So, she stays here an’ keeps Mary company.
“Actually, that leads me to the topic I wanted to discuss – language.” Said God. “It’s language that has lead humans into trouble every time. They’re either inventin’ new words an’ givin’ them new meanings, or sayin’ them in such a way as to mean somethin’ else. It’s an endless litany of excuses they use to justify the words they say an it’s drivin’ me nuts! My original idea was the best one. When the world was new, every one understood the other, yet there wasn’t a sound made. It was so quiet an’ peaceful then. A family could gather around the diner table an’ communicate in complete silence. Even the animals that came around signalled their needs with their body language an’ the humans all understood. It was so peaceful an’ quiet then when every body lived in harmony.”
“Well so how did the people learn to make noise an’ speak?” Schwartz wanted to know.